WHO AM I GOING TO BELIEVE, YOU OR MY LYING EYES?

Now, to the commentators who brought up the whole Gracie feud: Welcome! I knew you were on your way. I put on the kettle and I've got some homemade cookies baking in the oven, for I know you've come over to settle in for a very long chat.

Believe me, I'm really au courant with the Gracie debate. I love learning about the martial arts on Bullshido Net as much as the next girl. I thought the "Malik Nadal Hassan - Douchebag of the Month" forum was a particularly valuable contribution to the literature.

But look, guys, here's the thing: I have actually met Böztepe. You can argue until your typing fingers turn gangrenous and fall off about whether Wing Tzun works, and that's super-interesting and all, but there is no way on this earth you'll succeed in convincing me that Böztepe's anything less than seriously lethal. I've seen him sparring. Me, I'd rather be in an Octagon with a pack of ravening wolves.

I'm not an apologist for Wing Tzun. You'll note that I was in a Muay Thai class last night, not a Wing Tzun class. I'm neutral as Switzerland on this one. But Böztepe's the real deal.